8 April 2020

Just caught Diana on her way… er… nowhere. Still, she’s very busy.


Is now a good time to chat?

It’s not great, sorry. My philosophy class is convening on Zoom in 10 minutes.


OK, let’s reschedule. How’s later today?

There’s a bit on. I’ve got a Telehealth session with my physio; she’s going to talk me through a DIY shoulder adjustment using two tennis balls and a sock. I’ll squeeze in a quick online yoga shred if I can, and later I’ve got back-to-back drinks on House Party with friends I haven’t heard from in seven years.


Sure. Tomorrow?

It’s looking pretty chockers, actually. The Dalai Lama is going live on Instagram first thing. Then I’ve got a Facetime meeting with my boss to talk about productivity expectations, followed by a full day of workshops: Coding for Beginners, Fermenting 101, and Cross Stitch for Extroverts. I’m going to need my lounge room dance-off by the end of all that! It’ll be on TikTok if you want to see my moves.


What’s the Dalai Lama going to be discussing, out of interest?

How to overcome FOMO. Definitely can’t miss that.


OK, what about the next day?

That’s my culture day. Thought I’d start with a virtual tour of the Museum of Modern Art, visit the Taronga zoo and then watch whatever the National Theatre is streaming. I guess I could Zoom you during interval, but I do need to check in with my ageing parents at some stage…



In the evenings I’m learning Auslan online. That’s between 6 and 7pm and I can tell you now, I’m shattered come 7.15. Hats off to those interpreters. It’s fully exhausting talking with your hands and your face.


Is the weekend any less scheduled?

Not really. My Zumba class is streaming as per the usual timetable, and my uke teacher wants to fast track my bar chord game on Skype. I think he’s still on dial up. On Sunday I’m doing a half day webinar – Maximum Schadenfreude: How to flood your social feeds with content that makes others feel like they’re flailing. Or something like that.


Will you spend any time off-screen?

With all this time on my hands? Sure! I’ll plant the heirloom veggies I sourced online, and cook some goulash to freeze. I’ll probably disinfect the kitchen one more time and over-vacuum the lounge room. I have a little bathroom reno planned, too – but I’ll do that while attending a festival gig in London, so that might not count.


Can you foresee a moment that might work for a quick chat?

There’s a window in May, does that work for you? Let’s aim for that, though something tells me I’m going to be booking extra Telehealth sessions with my psychologist, and I might need to prioritise that. I’m not sure why, but I’m feeling a teeny bit jittery. I guess it’s all the anxiety in the air – it’s so contagious. I really wish people would just calm down and breathe.