29 March 2020

Retired judge Dot is stepping back into service mode.


You’re 78 years old. How are you feeling?

Pretty pumped. I just nipped out to the deserted back beach for a sneaky bodysurf.


Right. Has life changed much for you then?

Yes and no. I mean, everything’s cancelled of course: book club, sailing, aqua aerobics, choir, Toast Masters, whiskey club, all of it. So my week looks pretty different, but I’ve never been so busy.


Why so?

My YouTube channel, mainly. I’m getting a lot of DMs asking for new segments, like how to sew a face mask using elastic from old pantyhose, or how to properly disinfect a door handle. It’s a break in transmission from my usual treatise on syntax and grammar, but these are fluid times; I’ll do whatever my 13 million followers want. A lot of people are asking for tips on how to stay at home with someone you don’t like very much, for instance. Three of my five kids were teenagers while Spandau Ballet was big. I’ve got strategies.


What else is keeping you busy?

A whole lotta comms. Most people I know are on every video conferencing app known to man; everyone wants a chat. I’m having to decline a lot – there’s so much to do.


Such as?

Well I’m in charge of tonight’s lounge room dance-off on House Party. I’m putting together a disco-heavy playlist. It needs to be catchy.



Because Ken and Brian from my Babylonian Astronomy class are joining in. They’re very cool. I want them to know I’ve got rhythm, and can Triangle with the best of them. Solo for now, of course, but I can wait.