THE QUARANTINE INTERVIEWS: 3

25 MARCH 2020

Rita has grazed knees but plenty of loo roll.

What are you listening to?

Whatever Norman Swan says.

Any tunes?

Does an earworm count? I started singing the chorus to Joelene every time I wash my hands and I cannot get it out of my head. It’s not 20 seconds long. It goes on for weeks.

What are you doing for exercise?

I dug out the old skateboard. I’ve taken to lying on my belly on it and swimming freestyle around the back patio. I really miss the pool.

Are you learning any new skills?

Toilet paper origami. Yes, I panic bought.

Ooh, was there any biffo?

A bit. I got walloped by a senior citizen with a four-pack of recycled 2-ply. He wanted the supersized stuff, but he lost his balance trying to get the last pack from the top shelf. Some rangy basketballer nabbed it in the meantime, which was pretty dirty. When I spied the elderly gent in the carpark, I split my pack and gave him a few rolls.

Good for you.

Yeah, I felt pretty good about that. Then he asked me for some tinned beans and one of my 18 packs of Panadol. Fair enough.