“I’m not going to let some jelly-arsed little suckers with no brains stop me from getting the best out of my day…”

“I spent a goodly part of last night’s meditation class thinking about spaghetti carbonara…”

“I don’t separate my soft plastics…”

“I consulted a clairvoyant about my love life…”

“What I didn’t realise is how much stamina is required for op shopping. Who knew?”…

“We did get some impressive carpet burns, it’s true…”